Tuesday, June 2, 2009

little world....only at woolies

so i was browsing woolies online the other day- i do woolies online shopping once in a while, its easy and it saves me LOTS of time and mostly, i manage to get everything i need because i can browse without any little rascal screaming his head off to get out of his pram.
anyway, i came across Littleworld. Its one of those things that woolies has created for mommies and i love the concept! Basically, on joining, woolies sends you a little hamper as a welcome gift, they then send you your card and also give you R50 for your next online purchase (delivery charge really) Once you spend your first R150 on kiddies things, they then treat you to a spa treatment- facial or massage....
With your card, you accrue points for various programmes that are linked to the woolies charities.
Online, woolies lets you know about all the cool things available for kiddie winks and all round makes you feel very happy to be a mom and to be part of the woolworths world.

So, OBVIOUSLY i have joined, i have yet to receive anything and although i am still waiting for my world of difference card- 4 years down the line- i am optimistic regarding Little world and hope it is every thing that woolies promises.

look for littleworld link

Monday, June 1, 2009


hey y'all
jeez, have i been scarce or what?
Its not for lack of trying, rather just for lack of time. I am trying to plan this wedding in the few hours that Ben sleeps during the day and its MAD.
South Africa is just shocking when it comes to its offerings or maybe I just havent found the right things? I am spending half my wedding budget on UK magazines at the moment due to the fact that SA mags are absolutely awful- either the editors have no clue and have never actually had to co-ordinate a wedding on a budget or on their own or just dont have staff who actually put some effort into the content.

ANYWAY, later for that.
My boy Ben is getting so big. he is all of 7.5months old and crawling and standing all over the show. The cat- his favourite one Talula- is one of his most favourite objects to stand on- poor thing.
Little Ben still doesnt sleep through every night, but we are kinda used to it these days.
He eats like a little machine and he is just the happiest kid on the block. I totally love him.

Other than that, I turn 25 in a week...mmmm....been looking forward to that.
Paul and his team at Vida opened a store in London recently- its a little gem situated on Regent street- corner Regent and Air.

And my little boy has just woken up from his lunch nap!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

so obvious

i had a chat to my mom this morning and although i usually tend to ignore my parents advice, my mom was actually so spot on that i couldnt.
we were chatting about the wedding and i told her how paul and i nearly killed eachother the other day. she asked what it was about and i told her that he feels he should be doing the bar, but when we talk about how the bar should be done, our views differ so dramatically that i fear for our marriage should he fuck it up. (the venue doesnt have a liquor licence so we bring in our own bar and own liquor and staff etc)
so she said, just let him do the bar.
mom, you are a genius.

so of course thats the answer, just let him do it. its the second most important thing on the day, its his only task and if he is clever he will stop being so stubborn and get someone to do it for him. simple.
if he fucks it up, we will just have to have the marriage anulled.
but he wont. he cant.

so now i feel better and to some it might sound silly, but if we are blowing 120k on one day of our lives, best it be the most perfect day ever. its gone beyond us exchanging vows, its this huge shindig now with over 140 people. its going to have to rock!

i am off to breakfast and a bit of a gossip session with a good friend of mine.
i wish wine was included with breakfast. or vodka.

Monday, May 11, 2009


its monday
i know you all know that
i just thought i would spell it out
ben is a genius. he has started pulling himself into standing position....i try to explain to him that he needs a plan from there on out, but he is quite happy just standing in his cot....the floor is littered with huge soft pillows should he decide to have a plan and take a leap. its not that we havent dropped the cot already, we have- twice- but he still finds his way up.

so, i need to talk about this wedding planning stuff- its driving me nuts.
i nearly postponed the wedding due to paul and i trying to kill each other over it. since when are men so involved in wedding planning. pssshhh.
and he is stubborn. by god the man is a mule. i am no better. so its two dumb heads against eachother and neither plan on backing down.
its really crap

i did events for a living way back when- ok i didnt do a wedding, but i dont just see a picture, i see every single detail and he just sees the picture......anyway, i love him very much, but he really is a brat. wonder where ben gets it from.

anyway, the wedding planning continues, T minus 208 days to wedding lift off and all i have done is book a venue....genius.

also, i need a stay at home mom day job.....but i just dont know what......
oh, i love mondays

Saturday, May 9, 2009


so in between looking after ben and paul- they both have the flu- paul being the bigger baby than ben- and being a domestic goddess and organising our lives and being a mommy (which in its own right is a mammoth task) i am also planning a wedding. our wedding.
from 50 people to 150 people, i am taking on an event that might just not happen as its getting hugely out of hand....i mean, it WILL happen of course. it might just happen without anyone knowing about it.
aside from the fact that i cant decide on any kind of wedding dress, i have no one in cape town that is really interested in planning a wedding with me...which sucks as its meant to be the most important day of my life....
ok, so i am feeling slightly sorry for myself and i can, because i can (lacking a good enough reason as you can tell)

other than that, i was let down by a really important friend today and fine, i know she isnt the best at keeping a schedule when it comes to friends, but i really needed her today, i needed to get out of the house and see someone that could talk shit and drink wine with me and make me laugh and she dropped me....badly.
there is such a fine line on this one, do i tell her that i would like to wring her neck and be the kind of nagging friend that i am NOT or do i leave it and let it eat at me for a while?

oh and then, tomorrow is my first mothers day- which is the good news.
its quite a thing actually, my first mothers day....who would have thought?
just having a moment, letting it sink in
nope, not sinking in
my little man is quite the cutest little man in the world right now and even though he isnt quite big enough to fry up some bacon and eggs, he definitely is the best reason to get out of bed every morning, he is the one person that has taught me unconditional love and he loves me even if i am pmsing (TMI)
so, ben, thank you for making me the happiest mommy every day- especially on mothers day

over and out.....

Friday, April 24, 2009

i am back

i wasnt on holiday on some remote island or anything, i just had myself a little blogging break....after last night though i feel like repenting in some way and writing seems to fit my profile

i feel very sorry for myself today. i am hanging like a thoroughbred....in other words, i had one hell of a debaucherous night out with my girls last night and after that first jagermeister and that second martini, i somehow thought that going full steam ahead was the intelligent thing to do....not fucking likely.
god, i feel like shit. i have been feeling like shit all day. i woke up feeling miraculously great, but i think i might still have been drunk at the time. i have wolfed down more essentiales than is healthy, but i still feel like a piece of pooh. my eyes look like two pissholes in the snow and funny enough i still smell like whatever it was i was drinking.
to make matters worse, i have a wedding tomorrow and a bachelorette in Darling on sunday....crikey. my little liver is about to kick the bucket and drag me down with it.

good news is, i was called a milf the other day. for those of you that have no clue what that is, its best left unsaid at this late stage.....all you need to know is that it made me gush and feel very happy indeed, even if the person saying it wasnt my man.
its nice to know that this old goat still has it on some days.
over and out, i think i need to either down a beer or climb back into my dark hole.....

Friday, March 27, 2009

feedback on the girls night

ja- whatever. i went strong till all of 22h00 and was asleep in bed by 23h15- sober.
the girls continued without me, but holding my eyes open with toothpicks was ruining my outfit.

i keep forgetting that i am not that girl from a year and 3 months ago. i can put myself in the same bar, eat the same things and drink decent rum, but its not going to change the fact that i am a mommy and a wifey now and that my priorities have changed.
i still have a potty mouth and i still talk about sex and i still get to make my friends laugh, but i have to try a lot harder now because all i want to really do is talk about ben. sad hey?
also, because i am not in the loop anymore (facebook isnt much help these days) i am still talking about so and so who broke up LAST year and DID YOU SEE WHAT WHATS-HER-FACE WAS WEARING????eish. and its all totally outdated and BORING.

BUT i LOVE my friends, i love what they mean to me- i just have to redefine our friendships because they play different roles in my life now. how the BEEP do i do that though? none of them have kiddie winks and i see them less and less and i am scared that soon, too soon, i might not see them at all. at least the prospect of my big fat wedding is keeping them around!!! haha.

i am going to introduce my friends to my blog real soon. i just have to find appropriate pics of them.......(havent changed completely!!!!!!)

weekend here i come

Thursday, March 26, 2009

my first email of the morning-07.45- went something like this:

what the hell did i get myself into?

so its thursday again, which means tomorrow is friday and then its weekend and then next week and i swear i just cant keep up.
i have a list for the rest of the year- things that need to be done and that i am doing and that i am looking forward to doing....as you will notice, these might sound similar, but these sub headings are vastly different.
for example, things that i am looking forward to doing:
25th birthday
saschas wedding
bachelorette (mine)
teaching ben new things
watching ben walk

then, things that NEED to be done:
look for and FIND half day/stay at home type job
PLAN entire wedding
stand in queue at home affairs for bens passport

and i will stop there. one thing i have done is find a maid, that was on the list of things that NEED to be done.
in fact- she is a maid i had about 4 years ago. i swore that one day when i had a kid, she would work for me. and here she is. baby steps though, twice a week. right now she is marching around my house telling me that i need to get proper cleaning stuff. i have suggested she come with me to the shops. HRMMMPHHHHH. is all i get. i swear she should be in the military or maybe run for president- she at least has a backbone and a matric.

anyway, things i am currently doing:
shoving handfuls of caramelised almonds into my mouth
watching ben attack the cat- he keeps rolling on her- so far its 11-1 to ben.
planning my outfit for tonight

peace out

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

i spend so much time on my own these days and my little head is in constant think mode. i have conversations with myself all day long and by the time i see people, my little tongue goes into 7th gear and machine guns through a conversation so fast that it leaves me and the person i am speaking to utterly and completely dumbfounded and exhausted.

dumbfound- to greatly astonish someone
bullshit. i dont greatly astonish anyone. i blow their minds away with the amount of information i manage to store on a daily basis and then incoherently word vomit out into the palms of their hands.

hence i am taking a day or two off a week to spend with other people- like my friends or even a car guard. i think paul and ben also need a break from the manic mother. thank god for blogging, if i am talking too much, you can always close the page and take a breather whereas if you were infront of me, you'd ask for a drink. a stiff one.
thank god for commas and full stops.

does anyone watch true blood? i PVR it and then glue myself to the tv screen straight after i put ben down to sleep in the morning. its a mind fuck. who came up with the....what do you call the part that they slip in straight after the first few seconds and before the first 5 minute long tv break? well, the opening bit, what ever its called, is fucking ridiculous. its so middle america, it reminds me a bit of edgemead- no offence dear readers.

anyway, i think i might have had a caffeinated coffee instead of my usual decaf.

Monday, March 23, 2009

phuza thursday

i should be in bed. sleeping. while i can.

instead my mind is racing, my palms are sweaty and my heart is pumping vast amounts of blood through my veins. i think i might even have an asthma attack soon.

it feels like years since i last had this feeling.


the mere mortal could never begin to understand how i feel right now. only a mother can.

a night out, a phuza thursday night out nogal.

jislaaik. ek kry sommer lekker as ek daaroor dink. imagine net- cuba libres, chilli poppers, hysterical banter amongst hysterical girls getting more worked up by the rum fuelled second.

we'll skinner, we'll talk about sex, we'll dance on tables, we'll throw name.....it sounds like bliss.

ah, and we'll wear high heels, wash and brush our hair, maybe throw on some mascara.

i have already placed the order for some myprodols....

our last girls night looked something like this........

and then this was just before then.....

clearly it might not get this raucous, i am a mother now afterall..........but none the less, come thursday, i am donning my heels, a LBD and some matching underwear (that might be pushing it, but you get my drift)


i was born on the 8th of june 1984 in cape town
i attended various schools- usually the ones that would have me.
my parents piled myself and my siblings into the ugliest old jetta EVER and dragged our asses to JHB when i was 13 years old, after a short stint in the old smoke, i packed my bags, R150 and jumped on a plane back to cape town where i have been ever since.
last year, i met the man i planned on spending the rest of my life with- he wasnt so sure about me though- being my boss and all- but this girl always gets what she wants. after a whirlwind 4.5months of romance and far too many drunken nights, i fell pregnant.....and so ben arrived one wednesday after my water suddenly broke in the middle of the night- the little guy has been early at everything since.
i am now a stay at home mom, rearing my little over achiever into something of a prodigy.
in a few months time, i will be walking down the aisle to become Mrs Osborne.....
ah, life is great. wine is plentiful and the view is beautiful

pick me pick me

i spend half my life writing blogs in my head, in fact, i spend half my life thinking about writing blogs inside my head. the only reason i dont actually just get straight to writing and blogging is due to the fact that i have a 5month 8day old son- benjamin (see pic)-that doesnt really explain much, but basically, i am so damn busy these days that i actually dont have that much time to myself....

that was last week though and this week i have decided on a new weeks resolution- lets hope its doesnt last as long as my news years resolution- i am going to blog. yip. that's it folks. and i need you all to read it. (motivation, inspiration etc- i figure if someone reads this, i might write more than just some arb drivel)
none the less, my name is tara. i am about to become mrs osborne, mother to ben and wife to paul.....