blah.....

so in between looking after ben and paul- they both have the flu- paul being the bigger baby than ben- and being a domestic goddess and organising our lives and being a mommy (which in its own right is a mammoth task) i am also planning a wedding. our wedding.
from 50 people to 150 people, i am taking on an event that might just not happen as its getting hugely out of hand....i mean, it WILL happen of course. it might just happen without anyone knowing about it.
aside from the fact that i cant decide on any kind of wedding dress, i have no one in cape town that is really interested in planning a wedding with me...which sucks as its meant to be the most important day of my life....
ok, so i am feeling slightly sorry for myself and i can, because i can (lacking a good enough reason as you can tell)

other than that, i was let down by a really important friend today and fine, i know she isnt the best at keeping a schedule when it comes to friends, but i really needed her today, i needed to get out of the house and see someone that could talk shit and drink wine with me and make me laugh and she dropped me....badly.
there is such a fine line on this one, do i tell her that i would like to wring her neck and be the kind of nagging friend that i am NOT or do i leave it and let it eat at me for a while?

oh and then, tomorrow is my first mothers day- which is the good news.
its quite a thing actually, my first mothers day....who would have thought?
wow.
just having a moment, letting it sink in
nope, not sinking in
my little man is quite the cutest little man in the world right now and even though he isnt quite big enough to fry up some bacon and eggs, he definitely is the best reason to get out of bed every morning, he is the one person that has taught me unconditional love and he loves me even if i am pmsing (TMI)
so, ben, thank you for making me the happiest mommy every day- especially on mothers day

over and out.....